changed blog from diaryland after 4 years. thought more pics was better. Anyway, these were some posts from there. thought they were really meaningful, being written in SEA games year where i sunk deep deep into depression. sigh. its over and i have moved on.

charlie - blue
4:08 p.m. - 2003-06-10
Charlie, I do hope you are still alive now. Although I did not say a last goodbye to you, I will never forget all the memories I had with you.
You are free now,soar like you have never done before.
Dad is right, your intelligence proves that you deserve the freedom.I will miss you

nationals
4:14 p.m. - 2003-07-16
The helpless feeling of you able to do better. The 10m or 20m gap that you fought so hard for. Yet we lost. In tears, the team took a long walk to Marina Square. Not with a gold trophy like the year before but with a bronze and silver one. They represent the hard work the team put in.The atmosphere:dull. The cheers:none. The comforts:many.
Like how we won by one point the year before, we lost by one point to the 3rd place. Not even the 1st.
Why look back but look forward.
A period of competition so special that it ended before I knew it started.
Thanks Bing for that hug.
The dismayed crowd left saying to themselves why for come next year.

hammie
4:15 p.m. - 2003-07-22
I brought home the class hamster today. Actually, before he went home, he came with me to Macritchie for training. Don't worry, I did not make him run up hills or anything. He was pretty tired by then and was curled up beside the boot sleeping. After dinner, he woke up and we(pres and I) took him out of the puny box. He runs FAST. I bet a lot faster than me. He sneaked behind the furniture and we ALMOST could not catch him. But when I managed to pin him down, he bit me. Oh well. I am too worried to take him out of the box. Pres keeps bugging me to take him out...by the way, she named him Hammie. What other names can you give a hamster anyway? Macritchie was pretty scary too. The thought kept popping in my mind. And as Ping Wei got further from me, I thought I had to catch up with him, or else I would be left alone. When I finished, I saw Zhi Wei run past. He looks like he is still training hard.
A bunch of flowers and a bear key chain was what I gave to Pens to cheer her up. The flu bug has been passing round my family and after my turn, she got it. She was so delighted of the plesant aroma in her room that she exclaimed to Daddy:"I have a garden in my room!"
The day has passed so quickly and my teeth still hurt. But they have straightened naturally, so I don't need to get braces. Hurray! Horror stories from Pat always erks me out. The pain she has to go through just to have a striaght set of teeth.
Hammie is now in my living room listening to 92.4FM(classical music)
He will be an intellectual hamster.

i love rachmaninov's 2nd piano concerto!!
10:49 p.m. - 2003-10-05
Esplanade
I rushed to the roof-top terrace, hoping to present the spectacular and panoramic view of the singapore river to my family, only to be stopped by the staff. they closed off the area due to the light drizzle. I could not help but think back almost a year ago, when i first stepped onto that terrace. When i first browsed through the esplnade library. or even earlier, at the dhoby gaut and newton MRT station. Or when the tables started moving away from me during maths lesson(i was so embarrassed). the rain did not dampen our spirits, as we were almost treated to Hagen Daz, but had to settle for ice-cream somewhere else as the queue was too unbearable for us. Pen and pat got hysterical after a milo freeze and a cookies and cream ice-cream. Pres was not too happy with jelly, while i was too happy to have barley(reminded me of the barley in school canteen).

vietnam
11:04 p.m. - 2003-12-16
while prom ended, my race did too. Memories of Hacinco Hostel will remain with me even though the spartan living was not something to cheer about.
Getting the prize bouquet of flowers and buffalo soft toy from Shyam after winning the 4x100m.
Seng Song giving his flowers to Pat.haha.
The send-of by my dear 69ers.love you all so much.
My room mates, Gui Rong, Xian Hui and Vivian, for giving me a crash course in Chinese.
The student volunteer, Van, who dilligently cleaned my room every morning, and walked from her house to the air port just to see me off.

insights
11:05 p.m. - 2003-12-16
Kenneth plucking grass while waiting for Shafiq to pass him the baton.
The cute girl Jingzhe and I bought chewing gum from.
The tears that came from the 16 year old Indonesian 5000m runner when she came in 4th.
The roar of the crowd at My Dinh Stadium.
The jubilation and pride as I sang the National Anthem several times at the stadium.
My family, who has helped one another through this rocky road.
The old Vietnamese lady whom I tried to ask to help teach me to play the flute.
Finally, the non-stop eating sessions of ice-cream, choc cake, deep-fried spring roll, and lots of other food.

my 21st
10:34 p.m. - 2006-03-12
how did i spend my day?
spent whole of yesterday preparing for my party at my house. Thanks to Chara who helped me with the 4 hour cooking prep. then there was the party, with champagne where we toasted with "yum seng". Something new for the Aussies. Lovely birthday cake from Jun and James. Formal dinner with chairs and tables from cellar/dining hall thanks to the many hands that carried them to my house. Was made to give the traditional Aussie speach by the birthday girl. So said that I appreciated my frens in Newcastle, love them loads! Blew out the candles and made a birthday wish....and hope and pray it will come true.
then had to follow Aussie tradition of opening presents infront of guests( did not know it was Chinese culture to open after guests have gone home). so opened them slowly, read the cards. Lovely gifts and bible verses on the cards. Here is one from Em( my housemate)
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary. they will walk and not grow faint."
Isaiah 40:31.
watched Madagascar with Prue, Andy, Nic, Yimi, Reina and Chloe for post party. forgot to take gp pic....but will remember that my 14 dear frens that came....
today met up with Ping, went to er office. Its her last church service cos she is going back to China on sat. She will be dearly missed. I wish her and her family all the best.So there goes the week, with little work done. and now, the night b4 tut, feel tired, possibly anaemic, low testosterone? post/pre flu? I don't know what i have! diabetes?(cos i wake up in middle of night to go to toilet...)depression? stress? I have something...I know it. and have been tachycaria past few days incl shortness of breath. Heart failure!!!