cycling and morbid thoughts

nobby's beach
newcastle beach. the old royal newcastle hospital was one of the buildings along the beach. would have loved to be a patient in that hospital.

cycled 2hr 15mins today to the beach and beyond. just love the beach. that was 52km. gotta start training man. took an xray of my foot the other day. Hoping there was something.....BUT there for none:( oh wells, shows that i can start running everyday. today spent 1 hour ironing hospital clothes...i hate ironing. thanks to asmah, i felt like ironing clothes are impt.

about my palliative care patient that i am visiting. she has terminal kidney cancer that has spread. she told us she has 5-7 years left to live(she is now 81 yrs) so she is happy with her life now....the thing is, my tutor just said that normally, anyone on the palliative care prog would have 8 weeks left to live. I cant imagine that! hearing stories from friends who visit the patient one week, and he is up and about, and the following week, he is bed ridden, just a few days away from dying. I wish i dont grow close to her. and i really hope u will live happily for the next 7 years, just like how u believe u will be.

talking about dying. cycling today down those steep downslopes. after seeing 2 frens in the last month fall off their bike and injure themselves badly, i had a phobia of going down those slopes. going down was worse than going up:( i was breaking the whole time and my mind kept playing me flying off the bike, onto another car. i wondered which bone i would break. if i would still be alive if the car ran over me. the possibilities were endless. and i kept talking to myself, asking why i did not just stick to a simple flat loop with no hills or that much traffic. my answer: i wanted to ride uphills and see the beach.

then i wondered about doing more regular cycles down the highway to sydney. cars going at 110km/h. but the road is flat and there is a lane next to the leftest lane(for broken down vehicles). I thought how i would survive a crash, rememberd how i had a fren who had a crash there, broke multiple bones. but life is about taking risks. i mean, u can be crossing the road and get hit by a car and die. so if i could choose, i'd rather be cycling/running on the road than walking when a car hits me. or even better, jumping out of an aeroplane.OK, enough morbid thoughts