singapore open 5000m

presenting: 'original' baby milo who lives in an igloo.....
sia: you did not tell me i looked that funny( when she saw this pic of her)

thanks to everyone who cheered. I disappointed them:( but i know i deserve it, given the amt of training i have done. only started 2 months ago. and even then, did it erratically. when i was lazy or rushing in work, just skipped a whole week of training. glad that i have improved since stepping home. not looking fwd to going back as i know, once again will def slack off. i cannot study and train. just no more discipline. then i look around at all my uni runner frens. they do it. so why am i so diff?



but racing is good. it wakes u up, makes u realise how unfit u are, esp the track where time does not lie. After watching Mok run, my role model is now him! so zai in tri and running. skinny legs.



so 2 weeks b4 the big day. must make best use of time. back to today's race. horrible I tell you. even the osim tri 5km run and the frog race 5km run was around there. Felt light-headed at the end. just grateful did not collapse at the end.

this time, going into my first track race after a long while, i was thinking how have i changed since my track days last time...what would my thought be occupied with during and b4 the run.
1. i have seen more death, i have tried to treasure every day that i am alive. so i must be thankful that i am fit and healthy to be running on a track

2. many more of my birds have died. most recetnly, only a few days ago was blue bell. who according to the (very very lousy) vet, he had a hernia! so i brought the cage outside. He escaped. Few hours later, found him in the pool drain, prob swallowed tons of water. He was shivering and gasping for air. I jumped into the pool with my clothes, picked him up and tried to wrap him in a cloth. only to find him dying a the cage floor moments later. I picked him up, confirmed no pulse and started crying.

Blue Bell, i know u were just waiting for us to find you, so that we can say our last good bye to you. I am so sorry for not securing the cage door properly. Why....i wont even see you in heaven....even though mummy used to say I would see all my dead pet birds in heaven.

3. i have more exposure to life beyond running. It is great!

4. I have lost the will to train hard now. lost the determination to wake up early to run. now, hate the track. with that, lost the will to study hard to. i know its related. its all going downhill....

5. i have tried to convince myself i have some bit of talent and it shld not go to waste cos i shld be running for God. but, still have not convinced myself. I am running for the wrong reasons.

to sum up, i am a lousy sportsperson who cannot stand hard work cos i have no patience and no motivation now. I have lofty dreams that will never never never come true.

p.s need to slp to wake up at 5am to cycle with zhi yun! (start of something new??)